I've had a difficult time knowing exactly what to do with this blog. What I need is a journal. But do you know how many journals there are laying around the house that I've started and not finished? It takes too long to write. I can't find it when I need it. The kids take them and scribble throughout the pages. That's why this blog is so appealing to me. I can type quicker than I can write; I always know where it is; and as of right now, the kids don't know how to work it. But other people can read it. I guess I'll get over that part. And allow myself to be raw. Like my journal.
In the past, my journal has always been where I've turned to hear the voice of God. (and this is "listening Mom.com", right? I have bookshelves full of journals that I've written in front to back throughout college, single days, early married life, etc... where I hammered out the angst of my heart and mind... and I believe the Lord spoke to my aching soul. I would record passages of Scripture... write out what was ailing my heart... and by the time I put the journal down, I almost always felt like the Lord had brought healing.
So I decided this morning (as I stomped and dragged myself around the house because of the anxieites in my soul) that I NEED my journal. And this will be it. So if you're reading, this may bore you to pieces. It might be too raw. But it's for me right now. And one day, it'll probably be for my family too. Because they'll be able to look back and see the journey that God has taken their mom (and our family) on. So those are my apologies and thoughts up front. It's nice to get that off of my chest.